Dating in Italy is hard, or Am I Just Too Picky?

Dating in Italy

What are your dating experiences like here in Italy? I would like to know. Often times I ask myself, is dating in Italy too hard, or am I just too picky?

My longest relationship was in my teenage years, and it lasted for a little over two years. The longer relationship after that lasted for eleven months and they just grew shorter in months, to days, and even hours – yes hours!

I once agreed to date my male best friend and called off the relationship one hour after it started because I couldn’t picture us as a couple – I hope you are not reading this right now.

Here in Italy, I didn’t even bother to date as soon as I landed, even though I was single. I wasn’t that curious to find out what the men were like, I was more concerned with my studies – you may not be able to tell but I am a bit of a nerd – not your regular type that wears glasses and is antisocial.

When I was ready to start dating, I was only opened to meet men who could speak English, as my Italian skills at that time were lacking. One of the biggest barriers I uncovered with interracial dating is communication, stereotyping, and some unintentional derogatory comments.

I often find it sickening that some men find it okay to make some type of sexual comments on my skin tone or about women in general (during a first date or better never); and some backhanded comments about my country. I just sit there and stare, thinking “oh really, I didn’t know that, tell me more about my own country and people!” Hello, my name is Hellen, not Nigeria, but I am Nigerian.

For me, I think if you want to be a meaningful part of someone’s life then you need to put some effort into learning about their culture and respecting it. I mean there are far more interesting things to talk about than stereotypes and make derogatory comments. Google saves, ask her, and she will tell you the best things to talk about on a first date.

It also gets so awkward when it feels like a man is walking on eggshells and trying so hard not to offend your race *facepalm*, or makes a comment like, “not to be racist.” “Can you just be yourself and not mind my race?” I mean just be a thoughtful human being.

Back in Nigeria inter-tribal stereotyping also exists, and many Nigerians just prefer to marry from their own tribe to avoid issues like these. But what happens to love knows no bounds?

From my dating experiences in Italy, an Italian man who is seeking something more meaningful will tell his family about you during the first few weeks of dating.

If he’s mysterious and acting like a ghost, you may need to take a step back and assess the situation if you want something more.

I believe in love and finding a prince charming. I have come across a few prince charmings here in Italy but truthfully, maybe my fear of commitments is also holding me back, or the princes aren’t charming enough for me.

What are your dating experiences like here in Italy? I would like to know. Is dating in Italy too hard, or am I just too picky?

5 thoughts on “Dating in Italy is hard, or Am I Just Too Picky?”

  1. I was just googling on how to get an appointment for a residency certificate and I landed here after reading that article… I am also in my first year in the city and I like your blog. All the best

  2. Charmaine Magosvongwe

    What a great read!
    I loved how the story was informative and yet filled with humor.
    Well, I’m a newbie in Italy and hoping to make it my home…so dating is inevitable.
    Hope I get to meet my Prince Charming in due time. 😊

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